The Unedited Life

1. Dear Ivy: Regrets
2. Dear Ivy: Decide
3. Dear Ivy: People
4. Dear Ivy: Love
5. Dear Ivy: Empathize
6. Dear Ivy: Connect
7. Dear Ivy: Listen
8. Dear Ivy: Learn
9. Dear Ivy: Hold
10. Dear Ivy: Strong
11. Dear Ivy: Help
12. Dear Ivy: Protect
13. Dear Ivy: Let Go
14. Dear Ivy: Create
15. Dear Ivy: Enjoy
16. Dear Ivy: Feel
17. Dear Ivy: Share
18. Dear Ivy: Thanks
19. Dear Ivy: Confound
20. Dear Ivy: Desire
21. Dear Ivy: Pursue
22. Dear Ivy: Fulfill
23. Dear Ivy: Give
24. Dear Ivy: Forgive
25. Dear Ivy: Heal

My Dear Ivy,

Here we are on Christmas Day of the year 2020. With this 25th and final letter in the series, I want to let you in on the point of this whole exercise.

We’ve talked about a lot in these letters: making wise decisions, connecting and empathizing with people, holding onto and growing your self, creating and sharing, daring to dream and to pursue your dreams, giving and forgiving.

You need to understand something, though. All of that – everything you do, everything you say, everyone you meet – is taking place in a broken world. A world of unmet needs. A world in which some things are just . . . off, and in which too many people are overly invested in keeping them that way.

The entire point of Christmas is about one single, all-important thing: fixing the brokenness. A life well-lived should be about the same. That is the point of these letters.

My Dear Ivy,

In my last letter I talked about giving generously, even as God has given generously to us. But there’s one specific piece of His gift that I want you to make a habit of passing on to others. It’s a gift far too few of us are willing to dispense these days – even those who are incredibly generous with their material possessions.

I want you to learn to forgive.

My Dear Ivy,

I’ve spent the last few days talking about desires – having them, pursuing them, and achieving them. But remember what we talked about back in the first few letters – with regard to intimacy? One of the points of this process of understanding and pursuing your desires is so that you can understand and feel the joy of fulfillment. But on the other side of that fulfullment is the ability to share your fully-realized self with others.

These aren’t just any letters I’m writing to you. They’re Christmas letters. And Christmas is, first and foremost, about giving generously to those you love, as God gave the gift of his Son to his beloved creation, that first Christmas.

My Dear Ivy,

My last few letters have been about dreams, and about the pursuit of your dreams. I’d like to wrap up this set of letters with a final thought. Don’t just desire, and don’t just pursue your desires. Fulfill them.

My Dear Ivy,

In my last letter, I wrote about desires. I wrote that I want you to have your own desires for your life, independent of what other people want for you (and as always, yes, that includes me).

Implicit in that piece of advice is the advice I want to offer in today’s letter. Don’t just have your desires – setting them on a shelf to admire like some exquisite piece of decor, collecting dust. Pursue them.

My Dear Ivy,

I wrote yesterday about confounding expectations, and today I want to talk about a very specific set of expectations. The day before, I wrote about gratefulness and cultivating a sense of contentment. My letter today might sound like I’m contradicting the advice of that letter a bit, but I’m not.

Today – and for the next couple days – I want to talk to you about desires.

Specifically, I want you to have them.

My Dear Ivy,

I’ve given you a lot of advice in these letters – some of which is rather, shall we say, counterintuitive. Much of what I’ve written here goes against the expectations and conventions of the culture we inhabit.

And you know what? I’m ok with that.

As you can tell from these letters, I like to write. Writing is the way I feel most comfortable in saying what I truly think and believe. And so I write a lot. And from some of the responses I’ve gotten to some of my writing, sometimes I tend to . . . well . . . confound people.

The way I see it, that’s a good thing.

My Dear Ivy,

I’ve written a great deal here about reaching out to others to help you expand your horizons – seeking advice, asking for help, and learning whatever you can, wherever you can, from whomever you can.

One thing I want to make sure to remind you to do, is to thank them for it.

My Dear Ivy,

In these last few letters I’ve talked about creating and enjoying what you create, and about feeling and exploring what you feel.

There’s a common theme there, that I want to take a moment to talk about in this next letter.

I want you to learn how to share.